The Hamster Won't Die: A Treasury of Feral Humor

Hank Is Dead: A Highly Unanticipated Sequel



Mad Men Eulogies: Roger Sterling

Slamming The Screen Door: Dispatches From A Summer Unplugged, Part I

Slamming The Screen Door: Disptaches From A Summer Unplugged, Part II

Slamming The Screen Door: Dispatches From A Summer Unplugged, Part III

The Real Meaning Of Top Gun: Maverick And The Monomyth

Labors Of Love: Tales Of Corporate Dropouts

104 Weeks Of The Weeklings: The Best Of Our First Two Years

This Is The End: The Weeklings Mad Men Season 7 Preview

The Unbearable Kindness Of Trader Joe's

Take My Hand Child, Come With Me: Saved By Classic Rock

Facebook: Where Wonder Goes To Die

Point/Counterpoint: Sean Beaudoin Vs. Whitney Collins

The Zen of Gen X: How We Went From Jaded To Sated

The Slutshaming Trend: An Open Letter

Power Trio: Three Songs That Best Epitomize The 1980s

Power Trio: The Three Best Songs For Parental Rebellion



Mad Men Eulogies, Roger Sterling, Lovable A**hole

What Top Gun Has In Common With The Odyssey

Generation X's Journey From Jaded To Sated

Please, Make The Open Letters To Miley Cyrus Stop



Do You Know Your Amanda Rights?

So. You Think You Can Dance.

Underreported Bermuda Triangle Stories

Movies Based On True Stories

How Bear Grylls of Man Vs. Wild Survives The Holidays

Contemporary Directors Do America's Funniest Home Videos

New Old Wives' Tales

Dress Codes Demystified



My Best Relationship Tip: Choose Your Battles Wisely Or Don't Choose Them At All

Seven Important Relationship Truths I Learned From John Hughes Movies

Five Reasons The Griswolds Are The World's Best Couple

Astrological Matches Made In Heaven

Astrological Matches Made In Hell

Twelve Things That Shouldn't Be On Anyone's Gift Registry

Five Things You Should Never Have At Your Wedding

Eight Dates That Sound Romantic But Aren't

Seven Relationship Milestones And How To Commemorate Them

Six Unexpected Perks Of Long Term Relationships

Five TV Shows That Will Reveal (Almost) Everything About Your Significant Other

In A Relationship, Whose Chore Is Whose?

On A Scale Of Invalid To Vocalist, What Kind Of 'Sick Person' Is Your Partner?

What Your Celebrity Crush Says About You

What Your Birth Order Says About You In A Relationship

15 Sex Positions You Can Look Forward To When You're Old And Married

The Real Reason Why Men Will Never, Ever Put The Seat Down

One Easy Way To Improve Your Relationship: Stop Doing Things You Hate Just Because Your Partner Loves Them

I Did It All For The Nook-y: How An E-Reader Saved My Relationship



Phrases Commonly Used By 1950s Housewives That Were Often Misinterpreted By The Housewives' Husbands As Blatant Requests For Sex

Similac Alimentum Advance

Generic Brand Nicotine Polacrilex Lozenges



Kanye Westminster's Dog Show Starts Today

Modern Proverbs



6 Unexpected Perks Of Long Term Relationships

7 Important Relationship Truths From John Hughes Movies



Mad Men Eulogies: Roger Sterling



Reading In Bed: How An E-Reader Saved My Marriage



What Your Celebrity Crush Says About You



5 Reasons To Drink Down Shakespeare Not Stirred: Cocktails For Your Everyday Dramas



My Little Pony

This Didn't Really Happen. This Is Fiction. Don't Sue Me For Defamation.

Watch Me Throw A Piano On The UPS Man For You

It's Guys Like You, Mickey

I Say Tomato, You Say "Sick! Who Eats Tomatoes?"

I Want My MTV

There Is A Corpse Wearing A Hoop Skirt In Your Swimming Pool

Just Keep Nodding

Away In A Manger

Just Say No. I Mean. Welllll. Okay Maybe Just This Once.

Throw Him A Bone

Crappy Jobs

Don't Touch My Monkeys

Are You Gonna Eat That?

Don't Shoot!

I Would Rather Wear A Pair Of Live Possum Panties


Hey! Feces!

You Really Shouldn't Have

Personal Jesus

Ethan Hawke Will Be Mine, All Mine

The Spawn Of Iggy Pop's Asshole



Is Kentucky South Or What?

Ask Me What I Do In Kentucky

Naked Lunch

Beetle Mania

Let's Take This Outside

Animal Farm, Animal House

Full-Court Press

Little Boy Blue

Big Willie's Style



Hey, Brad Pitt. What The Hell Happened?

God? I Don't Know If You Know This, But...

Almost True Olympic Backstories

This Never Gets Old. I Mean. Not For Me, That Is

When I Was Your Age: Babysitter Edition

Would You Like Your Receipt In The Bag?

This Is Not About Breasts Or Breastfeeding

Waaaaay-Too-Personal Ads

Spam Seven Ways

When I Was Your Age: Beach Vacation Edition

Conversations With Siri

My Eighth Stroller

French Sammy Hagar Needs Your Money

My Fellow Americans, I Am Running For Senate

Geographical Love Limericks

Facebook Friend #316 is Just Asking For Rat Poison

Sexual Positions Of Old, Tired, Married Couples

No. No. A Thousand Times No.

The Top 10 Things I Almost Needed To Know That I Sorta Learned From Top Gun



How Parents Talk Dirty 

A Letter To My 4-Year-Old Son's Imaginary Friend

Ode To An Episiotomy

How To Make Your Own Baby Food

What's Hot & What's Not! Baby Names For 2011

Selected Menu Items From The Pregnant Cafe

H.S. 182: A Homeschooling Parody Column

The Taming Of The Slew

Make Mine A Double

Dan Gets A Minivan

12 Things As The Mother Of A Newborn I Probably Could, But Prefer Not To, Live Without

When I Was Your Age, We Didn't Have Helmets

You'll Be So Organized You Might Pull A Duggar

As If A Rabbit And Colored Eggs Weren't Weird Enough

Even Better Than Bloody Dinosaurs

Top Nine Recommended Shots For Baby/Top Nine Recommended Shots For Mother

Top Nine Snow Day Necessities

Top Nine Offensive Words And/Or Phrases That We Absolutely Do Not Use In This House, Young Man, Do You Understand Me?

Top Nine Really Stupid Places To Hide, Kids

Top Nine Most Popular Baby Names For Dinosaurs

Top Nine Mother's Day Gifts You Might Want To Rethink

Top Nine Things Dad Is Too Ashamed To Admit He Want For Father's Day

Top Nine Pearls of Wisdom for New Parents, Courtesy of Yoda

It's Like...

You Put What Where?!

Well-Meaning Mother Literally Mortifies Teenage Daughter

Ask Mum Z.


AuthorWhitney Collins